foevrbeebz at blogspot.com

- your so gay & you dont even like boys.

2009-01-02T22:41:00.004-05:00

so like i feel like venting bout my past relationships. why? because i want too. read one of these random people blogs and got the idea from them so yeah .. lets start from the top shall we? mk here goes.. OH AND if you read this and get offended tough cookie this blog is gunna be full of honesty.

Chris - dated him in 8th grade for 2 months. he was my neighbor but moved like 1 yr after we broke up - he was white like me and like 4 inches taller then me not ghetto but little preppy. looked good as fuck and had me happy in the bedroom =] he was 25 living with his mom lmao. but whatever AGE AINT NOTHING BUT A NUMBER! anyways he got me into coke and i had to drop out of 8th grade and be homeschooled cuz my mom gave me a little stay at home intervention - she didnt know i was doing it with him or fuckin with him she just knew i was doing coke so thank god she saved me. Why we broke up? The coke thing and he use to hit me. Yeah as in punch me and push me around - i blame the drugs but i took that shit for like 2 weeks of our relationship and thought like oh i couldnt get any better and it was my 1st REAL bf so i wanted to stay with him...but after i saw myself going down with his issues i got out and thank god and my mama i did. We spoke once after i broke up - he was tryna fuck but i wasnt having it . He moved to viriginia.

Que - my 1st black boyfriend. he was together 1 month - he was 17 i was 16 ina half. he was real fine! he had long twists and was like 5'9 while i was like 5'6 lol and he his thingy was like 8 inches lmao loves it! why we broke up? he chose religion and changed himself cuz he didnt wanna do it with guys anymore . which is understanding but sometimes i see him cuz he works at the movies and yeah i say hi and thats about it . lol he was jamaician too . mmmmmmm!

Aaron - i dont even consider aaron a bf simply because it only lasted 1 week cuz he was a player and was too fckin conceited - he wasnt even THAT FINE! dont you hate that? when the non-fine ones still conceited like wtf? stfu. all i heard was ME ME ME and OMG LOOK AT HOW I LOOK - couldnt take it..that was summer before 10th grade.

Albert - we didnt officially date but we phone boned and tlkd for like 3 months? and was suppose to meet but we never did - we still talk to this day but on a friend level hes cool tho.

Alex - oh lord. well most of you bloggers remember my shit with alex? mhmm well even tho i havent seen him - it was still something. Yall should remember his pictures and shit and how rocky our relationship was - we had ups and downs - he was always busy and always working or so he says..didnt know if that was true. Um we broke up in may of 07 - i did it over a myspace bulletin lol and after tryed to take it back but then i grew past alex. And he grew to like my bestfriend reese and from what i know or heard something went down there which is fine with me and then i heard he fcks wit trevor who i use to be cool with - but now we cool again i guess..anyways idk who alex fucks with now a days from my knowledge hes single nd living it up since hes 21 but yeah its whatever cuz what me & alex had was between us and we knew what the deal was. Gotta have love for him specially cuz ppl would laugh at me and accuse him of being fake..but yeah ive known alex bout 1 ina half yr now - and he & I are still cool. Hes probly the only guy i got comfortable with over the e-net . I remember he found me on crushspot telling me he liked my name lmao . oh god.

Kavar - smh. this muthafcka. we dated for 2 weeks - fckd around and on the day we met we ended it AFTER he got some . all cuz i was chubby. how fuckin shallow? and he knew cuz i sent him pics but he just wanted some ass. but didnt get it - all he got was head and that was it. hes a fckn idiot and all he was good for was i found fernando from his myspace..cuz he is fernandos ex too.

Fernando - ugh my baby. found him from kavars friend list and we talked for 4 months before we made it official. we dated 3 months and still arent broken up cuz hes locked up. I miss his ass EVERYDAY! and still think of him non-stop. I miss the drives we did and the times we spent in our hotel erry weekend. He was GREAT in bed and so funny - yes we fought every now and then but that was my baby. Ive tryed talkin to other guys and going to gay clubs since hes been locked up but i just want him but i know i cant have him. Hes been convicted and now hows he gunna get a job? I cant support BOTH OF US the rest of my life - and we had plans he would of gone to rehab for 3 months hopefully got better with his drugs and moved and started a fresh life with me in tampa but then his bad past caught up with him and got him and yeah i almost did get arrested but ima ride or die bitch fuck those cops. Honestly all my friends and family say OH HE USED ME AND DIDNT LOVE YOU - i dont beileve that. SOME i do but most of it i dont. He looked me in the eye and would cry next to me telling me how much he loved me and when we would be in public he would defend me if some1 tryed me. Yes i did catch him in the 1st week tlkin to KAVAR again but me nd kavar settled that and i ended up fist fighting 1 of his ex's who sent fernando a txt tlkin bout lets fuck but me nd fernando both fought him so its all good. Thats my baby and i wish i could visit him but im too nervous and scared and its gunna hurt worse - i just gotta try and get over him. but he still has my heart. so im still semi-taken. I gotta write him a letter tho to end it - cant do it in person..it will kill him . and im hopeing he understands why im doing it. but yeah..

thats my past of guys. great eh? you can comment if you want - just felt like shareing this with my fellow bloggers. mk im done . laterrr!

- eh eh..nothing else i can say.

2009-01-02T00:43:00.002-05:00

so like new years was okay? my bestie came up and spent the night and we went to my friends BBQ new yrs party - everybody was smokin weed,snortin coke and drinking. me and lauren were just drinking. it was cold as fuck last night too but whatev . woot 2009! ugh fck its gunna be a bad yr cuz like its gunna take probly a year for obama to clean up bush's mess so yeah waitin for 2010! for the economy to get better! but this year i gotta lose my weight specially before tampa in may and graduation! ugh! so got like 5 months! gotta start back on dieting cuz ive been slackin for 2 weeks and hit the gym! but its so hard with this pooch venus. I ALSO! need uh fckin job! like really really really bad. prostitution IS a fckn option i swear to god man. gotta start saving and cutting back on my shit to save up for tampa because i wanna go up stacked! so tomrrow ima go out looking for a job . fuck it yo ugh.

fernando still in jail blah whatev. um im going to the britney spears and pussycat dolls concert on march 8th with my bestie lauren and our bitch candra hope it will be bomb - i know brit gunna be lippin but whatev hopefully she kills her performance! her album CIRCUS is like bomb as fck. took me like twice too listen to the WHOLE THING and i actually went out and copped one! lmao seriously. so if you aint listen either go cop one of DL it . bitch is on point!

but yeah hopefully when i move to tampa in may i get to start over and meet new people..the thing that DOES suck is im gunna be living with my bestie lauren ina 1 BEDROOM til sept. cuz thats when her lease is up so ugh! idk how we gunna do it but whatever love that bitch and im anxious to live with her - ima miss my mama tho and my REAL home..but my mom wants me away from here so yeah like before she was agaisnt me moving but now that i wanna go to college and move on passed fernando even tho i still love him and think of him - I GOT TO move past him...hes gone to jail and wont be able to get a job - i cant handle that. but yeah ima cut it here . kinda long lmao . comments would be nice - if not whatev..its for me to vent . laterrrr

oh yeah i got my nose pierced and it didnt hurt . SO FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO SAID IT WOULD but yeah woot go me . mkbye

um yes hi hello - im back.

2008-12-31T02:06:00.003-05:00

beebz is back once again . ugh so ready for 2009! ive decided to let all my beef and all my negative energy GO! like seriously alot of people who brought drama into my life im either forgivin them and bein cool or forgetting them totally. either way FUCK THE NEGATIVE SHIT . aint got time for it. um so yeah last update was old but yeah my boyfriend well semi boyfriend fernando is locked up - been there since the 15th and idk when hes getting out im thinking of writing to him a breakup letter b/c i cant do it face 2 face. the only reason im breaking up with him is because like the economy is bad as it is and he wont be able to get a good job since he was arrested so i need someone to meet me half way paper wise so yeah plus im moving to tampa and he probly wouldnt of came with me anyways but yeah i do miss em and still love that dude but gotta move on. been hitting the gay clubs w/my bitches and havent met anybody yet but there were ALOT of cuties lol. IM SO READY for NOTORIOUS to come out! ugh! im going up to reeses area and seeing it with him yesss! its gunna be so much fun. tomrrow im getting my nose pierced and my bestie getting a tattoo woot! and for xmas i did uh big shopping spree cuz im stepping my shit up this year! ummm yeah and thats bout it . READD ME TO YOUR BLOGLIST IF YOU TOOK ME OFF! IM BACK lol ima have to whore myself around again . umm happy new yr everybody . comments are good!

cant do it on my own ;-[

2008-11-28T13:38:00.004-05:00

my baby is gone. hes gunna be going to jail - the detectives say probly a year HOPEFULLY less. why? well his past caught up with him cuz he broke into his neighbors house to steal jewlery and pawned it for drugs. i almost got arrested for not telling the cops where he was but i just kept playing stupid but they knew anyways he got to rehab and was in for 6 days for detox so hes clean and he loves feeling clean he said but hes turning himself in on monday. and im like let me come see you before you go away for like a year and he said he'd just break down even more he said his eyes are all blood shot from crying and hearing my voice and seeing me sad he said would kill him i mean i wanna understand but i wanna see him so bad! least the last time we saw eachother i gave him a kiss and waved bye =[ ugh i miss him so much i got a shirt of his and refuse to wash it cuz it smells like him. everybody is telling me to move on and forget about him when its more complicated then that. nov.26th was our 2nd month anniversary and we didnt break it off cuz i told him tell me what jail and ill come visit you and write him everyday and im hopein he'll call me sometimes but who knows. god it fckn sucks can never be happy. it was all going good he was gunna go to rehab and be clean and we start a fresh clean life together now this? im just thankful it wont be prison - if its prison idk what ill do just thinkin of him in there will make me sick. ive been depressed and sick like everyday since friday . went to see my bestfriend in tampa went to bush gardens and that night was throwing up - it was either the stress or something i ate or possibly both. but yeah i saw twilight nd 4 christmases and they were good. anyways ima end it here . this song playin describes how im feelin 150% god i miss him. im hopein the judge gives him community service and a few months in jail . ugh! anyways im out . comments would be great . laterr

- terrific tuesday.

2008-11-18T23:17:00.002-05:00

i dont know why but it just was a good ass tuesday. me & my man havent fought ALL day which a record cuz we have been off and on for the past like 5 days but he goes into rehab on friday so hopefully he leaves on good terms but hes right here eatin up on candy nd shit lol . anyways and also i checked my bank account and mysterious 100 dollars got put in..how? i dont know. but yeah today my dad met me at this car fixer place and had to get something fixed on my car -rollz eyez- i think its bullshit how much car repairs cost yo. fuckin we should have to pay 100 bucks and u fix the damn thing. SHIT!

this saturday im driving up to tampa to see my best friend since 8yrs old LAUREN! havent seen her in like 4 to 5 months now - and she gunna take me to bushe gardens! woot! havent been there since fuckin 3rd grade yo and ima senior..lets see 12 minus 3 is ummmm dang 9 yrs! i bet it changed like crazy - i cant wait tho! ima feel like a kid at a dang toy store im tellin you lmao.

umm what else? thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK! ima pig out like a mother fuckaa! FUCK A DIET! lmao but nah i gotta get bak to the gym and get bak to the tannin salon cuz fckin ive been slackin cough thnx fernando cough . lol anyways ima end it here cuz i wanna lay down and watch a movie . comments are good - laterrr =]

- i dont wanna fight.

2008-11-11T23:30:00.004-05:00

well its been a week since ive updated lol but yeah same shit different day. im really excited for thanksgiving yo! im wanting to pig out! lmao the diet! which ima look online for a new one cuz while my boo is in rehab ima be focusing on getting a damn job and dieting and school. i really wanna start saving for an apartment so i can move out because i hate living at home now - like seriously it drives me nuts now which is sad. i just want a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment ina little area .. and hopefully with obama as president rent and things will go cheaper! so its POSSIBLE because right now its IMPOSSIBLE for me too live on my own lol. sheesh "/

well today me and my boo had a HUGE! fight. all cuz of my insercurities . ugh its sad that i dont trust him fully yet cuz my mama always taught me DONT TRUST ANYONE! and it just seems like hes the type to cheat! but then again can i be wrong? but yeah so i said somethin basically sayin hes fckin around so he got slick and said "oh i might not text back cuz i might be with some1 else" so i said "well ima nap anyways and dream of a real man to take care of me" and that hit a nerve and really hurt his feelings he started textin in all caps cussin nd then he is like thats it im done we over im not gunna stress this ive never cheated and never would -my mom raised me better then that etc and he called me and i was denyin him and he left a voicemail like u better fuckin call me tonight! or else ima go out of control and not go to fckn rehab etc nd he was txtin me .. enjoy ur nap i love u i really do and want u to beileve me so ima go cry and take a nap and all sad messages..

so i called him and he was all like sad nd sounded like he was gunna cry like ALL CHOKED UP so we apologized to one another cuz he got like 1 week left before he goes to rehab for 2 months - and i dont wanna fight with him . thats my boo and this weekend we gettin a hotel for the last time and hes sleeping over tomrrow and thursday =] im proud of what hes doin for me and his mom and himself! we gunna write eachother and he will call me erry other day he said so yeah . i know ima cry this weekend tho cuz ive been with him for like 1 month ina half and chillen with him like every day and with him gone its like =[ sad . but yeah ima cut it off here . new playlist! all the songs on it are songs im really feelin or what im going threw so yeah . comments are good =] oh and i got my report card . 4 A's 1 B and 1 C bitches womp womp! hell yeah im back on track . haha mk deuces.

- so um yeah

2008-11-04T23:29:00.005-05:00

tina turner concert was insane! i loved every minute of it. for 69 yrs old going on 70 .. this woman still KILLS her shows and she still got killer legs! ugh she performed all my favorite songs cept 2 :/ but whatev i loved it and got a shirt! and the concert was a full house of gays and married couples! lol it was fun tho! me and roxy had an awesome ass time! best concert ive been too =]

so yeah obama is going to be the next president . blah blah whatev - we will see how he "cleans up" the country. i love his 1st law thing he's passing to have our tax payers pay for girls to get their abortions. smh wow fuck that but we will see - ima laugh if he fucks us up MORE and those who voted can eat a dick.

beyonce album leaked . who likes it? i havent listened 2 it but it looks good . feedback would be good. i went to FYE and got some dvds for cheap - fun with dick and jane,baby boy,the original kings of comedy and this 4 box set that only costed me 13 dollars which includes all 3 fridays + all about the benjamins. GOOD DEAL I KNOW ^_^ lol loves it.

anyways my boo goes into rehab the 24th of november for 2 months - so that means no xmas or new yrs with him =[ ugh ima miss him so much but we can sometimes call and we can always write eachother - so yeah . but ima go to bed . comments are good! laterrr oh and BTW bitches - i lost 15 lbs . i weigh 240 now =] my goal weight is 220 so got 20 more lbs to lose woot woot! ima work hard while my boo in rehab . mk bye

its finally here!

2008-11-02T14:34:00.001-05:00

its FINALLY here! im so excited - waited 5 months for this! woot! -screams!

- im back =]

2008-11-01T12:27:00.003-04:00

did you guys miss me? yeah couldnt stay away from blogspot FOREVER bcuz i need some of your opinions about junk . but yeah i did a simple pg bcuz im not gunna keep updating this shit ima juss strictly use this for bloggin . anyways yeah im back and idk when the last time i was on here but yeah im still with fernando =] we've been together 1 month and like 1 week. we was suppose to chill last night but he didnt feel good and i got pissed cuz it was freakin halloween and wanted to go out and i already told my friends i cant chill then he goes and changes plans . ugh! so we got into it and was fightin for like 2 hours and i kept acting like i was gunna break up with him he was flippin . hehe im the devil >=] but yeah thats my boo. gotta love his ol cuban chicken legs havin ass ..hehe!

we both been tryna get jobs and since this economy is fckd up nobody is hiring..lord. but least we BOTH trying bcuz we want to save up for our future and get a place together - but yeah speakin of place he's spendin tonight & tomrro night at my house woot! and tomrrow night is TINA TURNER CONCERT! im so excited cuz ive been waiting for like 6 months? sheesh its been a while but yeah me & roxy are ready! ima be buyin a shirt nd shit over there lol even if its 50 bucks!

umm i really wanna see NOTORIOUS which comes out in january of 2009 but yeah it looks juicy . everybody in the movies looks like the real people CEPT the guy playin diddy lol but yeah jeez seems like all the celebs comin out with new albums the end of this year. which is good - i love new music! im lookin forward to commons and kanyes the most lol. ugh and SALT & PEPA getting back together! they performed a new song on the BET awards which most of you probly saw but yeah it was bomb! but yeah..

drama? not really. just tired of hearing little lies bout an ex friend tellin people - lol i love when ppl ASSUME shit and the REAL STORY is completely the opposite but its ok cuz im not a net lame i got a real life now . but yeah my grades tight and shit which is good gotta get my GPA up! and UGH at grad night this yr .. M.I.A IS PERFORMING! -dead- and lloyd and katy perry! shit is gunna be off the hook! literally. but yeah ima end it here cuz im hungry and ima go watch tv..comments would be good! but yeah add me to your bloglist folks . i am backkkk woot!